Advice is My Vice.

My name is Jeb Willy. My birth name is Jebediah Williamsonton but over time it became shortened to Jeb Willy. I suspect my parents knew from the beginning that Jebdiah Williamsonton contained too many syllables to be linguistically comfortable with prolonged use, so they shortened it almost immediately. Even my school records, starting with first grade, show my name as Jeb Willly.

I was born with Asperger’s Syndrome and a mild case of chameleon eye. So not only did I have trouble reading emotions and social cues, people thought I was literally looking right past them when I was only figuratively doing that. I could see them just fine, I just wasn’t that interested in “seeing” them in a metaphorical sense. I have no idea why my classmates had such trouble understanding such a basic concept. If they could, I suspect they wouldn’t feel so bad.

It was nothing personal, I just didn’t understand what all the fuss about smiling, and waving, and all those other route activities you’re supposed to do. Yes, I can see you. I know your name. In fact I knew my classmates very well.

For example, Sam was in the 95% percentile for his height, both in our class and nationally, and he parted his hair on the left. His lunches consisted of a 3 to 2 ratio of peanut butter and jelly to tuna fish with pickles with an statistically insignificant ratio of cheese on white with mayonnaise. His left eye was slightly greener than his right and he wore blue Adidas sneakers 82% of the time, with the remainder divided equally by his red flip flops and a pair of leather sandals with a recycled tire sole. So yes, I think I knew Sam pretty well. Probably better than most.

Academically school was very easy for me though I didn’t understand why I should be interested in many of the subjects. I also have a near photographic memory. So naturally people looked to me as a resource for information.

In fact, it was my reputation as a reliable source of advice that inspired this blog and it’s name. The title of this blog was originally coined by the previously mentioned Sam in our eighth grade year. Sam’s parents were getting divorced and I was informing him about the effects that divorce has on children, from an academic performance perspective, and what steps he could take to help mitigate those. I told him that children from divorced homes also have a higher rate of criminal behavior than those from intact families, which made no sense because I don’t see how divorce should effect ones understanding of the law or ones ability to follow it.

Then Sam interrupted and said “That’s great advice, man. Dude, my problems are all solved now. Why should my parents splitting up effect me? I just won’t break the law and I’ll study hard! You’re a fucking genius.”

I guess other people witnessed Sam’s success in understanding the statistical significance of his situation, because soon after that other classmates would started saying “great advice, man” as well.

I’d be explaining something and then they’d say “great advice man” and then they’d turn away to implement my suggestions.

However, at home my ability to inform and educate was not always acknowledged or understood.

My dad used to say I was an idiot savant, but without the savant part, which doesn’t make any sense at all. If you remove the savant part all you have left is an idiot, which I am not. So I have no idea what he was talking about and I assume he didn’t either.

So that’s the origins of my blog and the name of said blog.